That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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