Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
