I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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