If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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