We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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