i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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