He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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