the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
