dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
