Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
