Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
