help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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