I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize