You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
