yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
