Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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