how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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