He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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