you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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