is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
