Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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