Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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