In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
