How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize