i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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