Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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