I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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