I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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