I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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