Welp...herpes.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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