Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
