If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
