I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
