Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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