i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
