Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
