I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I love you. Go after that dick
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