Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
