omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
