Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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