Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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