i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
