First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
