yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
