I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
