its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
