I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
