So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
