I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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