He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
