i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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