My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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