One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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