There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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