Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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