I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
