we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
