I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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